Yep, it’s Shark Week on Discovery Channel, and yep, I’m watching it. Every night.
I’m not sure why except that I must have a morbid fascination. Jaws totally freaked me out back in the 70s, and I’m still afraid to go into the water — ANY water, mind you: Lakes, rivers, creeks, puddles…even heavy rain!
How freaked out, you ask?
Oh it goes beyond the mere task of entering a body of water! When I was playing Batman: Arkham City, during the frozen aquarium tank crossing where the Penguin’s “pet” Great White was lurking, my blood pressure was elevated, and I was inundated with cold sweats. My Batman actually fell into the tank at one point and rather than try and fight the Great White, I simply muted the TV, dropped my controller, and closed my eyes. After a visit to the loo wherein I refused to actually sit on the toilet, (there’s water down there!), I rebooted the game and started that sequence again.
How freaked out, you ask? I was going to play the Far Cry video game, but I found out that there is a Great White shark sequence. Game not purchased or played.
More? Okay…as a kid, the summer that Jaws was released, my cousins and I were going to play “Jaws” in their swimming pool. We tossed in a few diving fins to “be” the sharks. The fins sunk to the bottom. None of us jumped in. We had to get an adult to go in the pool and get the fins out. Even then I eyed the fins suspiciously.
I don’t like taking a bath during Shark Week and even showers are iffy.
If it rains or floods during Shark Week, I am reluctant to leave my house. Seriously.
Brushing my teeth and washing my hands are acceptable as long as the drain doesn’t make any weird gurgling noises.
Now, having confessed to all of the above, let me say that I RESPECT sharks and am an advocate for research and conservation. I find them fascinating, amazing beings. They should not be hunted or harmed and anyone who eats Shark Fin Soup should perhaps get a few minutes in a shark cage with about 4 or 5 Great Whites in close proximity.
In all seriousness, I do love the ocean, (and all of the amazing life within it) and I do visit and swim in it when I can…just not at feeding time!