Gamese, My Second Language

Indeed, I speak several forms of English very fluently; but, apparently, only one really invokes anger and resentment in the non speakers: Gamese.

I speak and read Modern English, Early Modern English (EME), Middle English, (think Chaucer), and I can read Old English, (with my Anglo Saxon reader close at hand)…

I have also mastered Ketehse, which is cat language, and Gamese, which is Gamer language.  I can hold my own with Pirate English as well. ARRRRRRRRR!

Of the flavors of English that I can use to communicate, it is gamer English that really pisses non speakers off.  Seriously.  I’ve actually had non speakers ask me to STOP or risk bodily harm.  It goes something like this:

Me:  So then the mini fired off a heal over time and the mage cast an aoe, and it went really badly from there.

Other gamer:  Ouch.  Who pulled?

Me:  The tank who managed to zone before the wipe.

Other gamer:  Wipe. Uhoh.  Did your rezzer make the zone?

Me:  Nope, the monk had to release and sneak back in for drags.

Other gamer:  Damn.  Bet that took hours.

Non Speaker / Non Gamer:  Geezus krist, will you PLEASE speak English?!?!?!?!?!?!

Crafting Example of Gamese Speak:

Me (who is ingame crafting at a blacksmith forge — game:  Skyrim) :  2 more skill points to Dragon Armor!

Non Gamer: What are you doing? (peering at screen — image of Nord at a blacksmith hammering a glowing sword at a forge)

Me:  I’m crafting some armor.

Non Gamer:  Why?

Me: As I craft each type of armor I gain skill points and xp that allow me to advance the skill tree to craft more types of armor.

Non Gamer:  So you can….?

Me:  Gain more xp and level my toon.

Non Gamer:  Level your toon?

Me: Yes!  Exactly!

Non Gamer:  (walks away shaking their head)

So, rather than just be a gamer snob and tell all of the non gamers to “learn the language!”, I will offer a few words and their translation as a peace offering:

PWN:  verb  Owned and pawned (Chess reference)  Example:  That monster PWN’d you!

Mob: noun  Anything ingame that must be killed or it will kill you.

Boss Mob:  noun  Bad ass mob that must be killed.

Toon:  The gamer’s character ingame

Hit Points or HP:  noun  The numerical value of a mob or toon that equals how much life one has.  Disease, poison, and weapons will subtract HP in combat.

Dungeon:  noun Anywhere ingame that contains mobs and treasure, (treasure is aka “loot”).

Loot: noun Items dropped by mobs ingame.

PVP:  Player versus player gaming environment.  There are real people playing the toons that are involved in the combat.

PVE:  Player versus environment.  The toon is combating or questing against computer based mobs or circumstances.

WOOT:  Way Out of There   Gamer Speak for OH HELL YEA!!!

GTG:  Got to go.  (Signoff)

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